Thursday, November 29, 2007

Rules of Sarahland - Part I

One of the problems with New England winters is the lack of sunlight. These days I get up when it is still pretty gray and get home when it is dark- very dark , which happens around 3:30. Well, maybe not but it feels like it. I have found that my picture taking has suffered because of the darkness since my apartment is apparently very poorly lit. Soooo, I have no pictures to offer up to the blog gods and therefore tend to put off posting altogether. So this will be an all word post, those of you who need pictures please feel free to doodle along and submit your drawings.

Last night at SnB (that's Stitch n Bitch for you, Meg)the rules of Sarahland came up and someone actually wanted to know what they are. Beware of what you ask for! I can't really remember them all right now and new things are always likely to rile me up, which is why this is Part I. Here we go with more proof why the men in white coats are going to take me away.

BTW, Rule #1 is always Rule #1 but the rest are in no particular order.

By Decree of your Benevolent Dictator, I declare these the rules of Sarahland

1. No Public Spitting - Ew! Must I really explain this?

No hotcupping - see rant for punishment

No ear piecing for children under the age of 2. - I just don't like it.

No fruit in/on bagels. I was tempted to only allow the following bagels be served at all in Sarahland: plain, onion, garlic, salt, poppy seed and everything, but I figured I'd be a kind ruler and realize that maybe not everyone was raised by nutty New York Jews. But after a co-worker was trying to explain the virtue of an Au Bon Pain blueberry bagel with strawberry cream cheese I was forced to make the no-fruit rule. I mean he's from Kansas for pete's sakes! What does he know about bagels! Punishment to come - probably will involve sisal rye seeds and gefilte fish.

No male over the age of 16 will wear their baseball cap backwards unless they are a baseball catcher. Special dispensations may be granted for moving days, room/house painting. Related sub-rule: no one over the age of 5 can wear a baseball cap sideways. Really, you just look like an idiot.


Charley said...

I, for one, welcome our new Benevolent Dictator

Macoco said...

I love your rules! My coworker has a hawker at her bus stop and it drives her crazy. It's nasty!

I agree with the no fruit in/on bagels. ew.

Can I add - no nuts in cookies/brownies? Please, please?

Ariel said...

I agree, oh Benevolent Dictator. Though until I clicked through, I was pretty sure "hotcupping" was an activity like "teabagging." Thanks for clearing that up.