It's that time of year again!

Bust out your crockpots and Velveeta it's time for my office's Cinco de Maio celebration!!!!

Since May 5th is on a Saturday you're assuming it would be on Friday the 4th then? Oh no, that would only make sense. It is today Thursday the 3rd. Why? Who knows? It's always on Thursday. This tradition led to one of my favorite work quotes ever when I overheard this gem last year.

"Wait, since we're celebrating on the 4th shouldn't we be calling it Cinco de Quattro?"

So as with all of my office functions (including our holiday party) it's a potluck. Unfortunatly whoever made the scrumptous treat made of Velveeta and ground beef called "Monkey Brains" in the past did not make it this year. Mmmmm......Monkey Brains

Last year's big highlight was the chili contest. But wait, you say that chili is Southwestern and not Mexican? Ha! Mexico, New Mexico same difference. This year "Mexican food" apparently means anything spicy. Macaroni n' cheese with jalepenos throw in, jerk pork, jambalya and rice (Cajun-Mexican same diff).

I have to say my favorite things this year were the items not made. Crush Boy stops by my desk yesterday and says "How's this sound for the potluck? Some ground beef, browned and then put inside jello? Red jello of course, like salsa." I say that all that's missing is the grain alcohol and we've got a party!! Clearly he is kidding so there no Beef Jello shots to be found. But the brillant co-workers in my department do not understand sarcasm.

T: Crush Boy has made Slim Jim Stew for lunch.
Me: Huh?
T: He put Slim Jims in a crockpot with boiling water and now those guys are all making fun of it. Ask him about it!

A little later....

Me: So what did you make? I heard something about Slim Jims?
Crush Boy: I took Slim Jims put them in a crockpot of water added cheese and some spices.
Me: So has anyone actually eaten any of this?
CB: Well, no since I didn't actually make it. But I've got all of them convinced that I did (nods his head toward my department). Slim Jim Stew. Ha!

I swear if I wasn't crushing on this boy before I so would now. The fact that he has them convinced he would make something so vile and be proud of it is awesome. I pretty much didn't believe early on. I am not seeing this 20-something, barely-cooks, brings Ramen noodles in for lunch, guy actually owning a crock pot.

Felice Navidad! And have a happy and healthy Cinco de Tres!

How do I respond to this?

This is one of those work stories that I would normally call me sister with in the middle of the workday to ask her if I am in bizarro world again. But since her clan is down in Orlando visiting Mickey Mouse...who we kidding, she's going to see Princesses. If Mickey or Eeyore happen to walk by that's a bonus but all my niece really wants to see are Princesses. So Marsy's loss is your gain and I really need to get this out of my head or it may bounce around in there all weekend like a pinball machine. And since I recently told new people about my blog other people besides my sister may actually read this. Feel free to comment. Really! I am a big ol' comment whore and as you see have so very few....sniff, sniff.

Since we are all having performance evaluations the talk of jobs and satisfaction is all floating around my department. So I'm talking with Coworker T and the conversation includes this...

Coworker T: I love my job. Do you?

Me: I like it but I don't love it. (Sidenote: to say I like it is being very generous but I digress...) What is it exactly that you love about it?

T: I like doing the mailroom and helping on the phones.

Me: But you work in accounts payable, you do the mail room for like a half hour a day and you fill in on the phones may once a month at most?

T: Well, I like when I can do nothing.

Me: Uhhhh.....okay.

That pretty much sums it up. She should be quoted on one of those motivational posters with a sunrise. Just so wrong.

Can't wait until my evaluation on Monday when I most likely will get in trouble again for doing my work too fast and looking for more things to do.

They Said What???

"Read? I don't read. My brain works too fast for me to read." - L.

As told to me by a co-worker when asked about book groups. Boy, am I glad to be slow-brained.